he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm too high and old for this...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
