If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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