let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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