Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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