I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
