is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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