We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My ATM looks so different sober.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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