In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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