So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
As shirtless as possible
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
