so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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