they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
