if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
