how hairy? two words: wookie tits
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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