Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
