carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
