do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
