Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
