wat bout pragnant strippers??
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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