Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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