I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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