i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
