he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
