he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
