Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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