Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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