shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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