Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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