in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
