I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
