Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Randomize
