Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize