i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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