you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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