he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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