Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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