just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
