Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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