somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
