you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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