You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize