Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize