Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
