we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
