I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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