I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
