This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
