hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize