There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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