My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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