real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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