Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
