the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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