just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
