My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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