Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
