yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
