Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize