She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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