Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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