He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
