these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
